Women are great but they can be very good manipulators. With time and
experience you will find out which the good ladies are and which just want to use
you. During my holiday in Bulgaria I almost lost my virginity with a woman who was
ten years older, who was on the same holiday trip as me. She got me drunk and
persuaded me to leave the party room and go to her room. I did not like her much,
but she persuaded me I will not be a gentleman if I refused her.
So I got drunk and followed her to her room. Everything was going well, but as her bra padding fell out as she removed her clothes, I got sober and left her. I don’t like being cheated by bra
padding or makeup. Women should accept how they look and not cheat like that. As I
left the room I grabbed another bottle of Rakia and finished it off that night. I felt bad
the next morning because I followed the women to her room and because of the
alcohol. I realized I need more knowledge on women and their behavior to avoid
Over the years I found out how many women think and what their point of view
for having male friend is. Most of the time, if women want to be just friends with you,
it is to use you until she finds someone “better”. For real man this is not enough. Real
men, which are attractive to women, will let go of those kinds of friendships where the
man gives and women only takes. If she just wants to be friends, she should
introduce you to her female friends to help you find a girlfriend.
But this is a very rare case. Most of the time, they want to keep you for themselves to have a “friend” who they can call if they feel down or to increase their self-confidence. You have to quit
such single sided friendships to avoid being used. If you are interested in dating
advises, ask my publisher for a short book on that topic. Over the years I have helped
many of my friends find the right women or have a one night stand. If you can control
your emotions and keep disciplined, dating women is easy.
At age seventeen I decided that I should find a girlfriend because my more
experienced schoolmate Frigo had a girlfriend already. So I started to date one girl,
who was smiling at me sometimes. I was not attracted much to her, but I decided I
have to start somewhere to understand what it is to be in relationship. After two dates
I wanted to test kissing. So we kissed. I was disappointed a little bit as I expected,
based on what I read, some sort of ecstasy and all the kissing was just a silly and wet
experience. After two weeks I quit dating her. A few girlfriends and lots of practice
later I found out how kissing really can be a pleasant activity.
All you need is patience and experience. It is O.K. to date girls just for experience when you are young. Don't give promises which you will not keep and don't lie to them about your feelings. Take
it easy, but spend your time with girls. They can be interesting. And as women are half of the human population, it is good to understand them better.
If you are afraid of refusal (usually people who doubt their self-worth are afraid
of it) you can practice refusal by dating girls or women – based on how old you are.
Your goal is not to be refused, but to experience your reaction to refusal you receive.
Study your reaction, your thoughts and your feelings. Understand that you are not
your thoughts or your reactions. You can control your thoughts and your reactions.
Warrior who can’t control himself can be dangerous because of his power. First learn
how to handle yourself before you get big power. With power there goes always a
responsibility hand in hand. I was afraid to speak to attractive women when I was younger so I started to do it just for training of overcoming that fear. When I asked girl for a dance, usually I
was refused nine times before I found one that was willing to dance with me.
Now with more experience I am more confident, I have better selection process and it got
better. Now it is rare event she refuses to go and if she does, I don’t mind. There is
always another one who will be glad to go. My rate got better just because of the
experience and because my attitude.
I got used to rejection and I don’t take it personally if she refuses. There was
nothing wrong with you; she just was not interested that particular time. It happened
to me, that a girl who refused to dance with me came an hour later to ask me to
dance, apologizing because she could not do it earlier as she had to take care of her
friends. Sometimes they wish to go with you, but they can’t because of their duties.
It is natural that people will not give you something you wish for each time you ask for
it. But still it is better to forget your ego and keep looking for the one person that will.
During high school I still valued male friends more than female friends
because I learned that by strong friendships with other strong guys we were
protecting each other. It was fun to be with Frigo and Daniel. They are good guys.
After finishing high school we agreed that we will stay in touch. But as most
friendships do evaporate with less and less time spent, we lost contact for many
years. I found them later through Facebook. We live at different locations so we do
not meet anymore. Frigo became a professional ice hockey player in Slovakia and
my new friends, those who are interested in ice hockey, know him.
As I watch only box oriented sports in TV I don't know where he is playing now. Watching sports on
TV is like watching ice cream in TV. The only sensible reason to watch is to learn new
techniques and to get motivation for your training. Going out and doing the sport
yourself makes more sense to me. Daniel went to Ireland and got married there. We never met again. Farewell guys.
With high school finished, college was waiting. The best thing about college
was that I finally left home and the second best thing was that I met new friends. I
originally never intended to study at college. My friends, who were working, had their
own income and I wanted to be self-reliant like them.
What is the point in spending another 5 years studying?
My father thought otherwise. Because he had no opportunity to study at
college himself, he decided that his kids would. To make him satisfied, I promised him
I would finish college. My older sister studied in Bratislava for 3 years, but before she
finished, their department lost accreditation and her 3 years of study ended without a
college title. She moved back to Presov and studied for another 5 years in social
work at Orthodox Church College.
My sister is well educated and fun to be with although she is chaotic at the
same time. At the graduation ceremony, which took place in a beautiful old theatre in
Presov built in the 16 th century, the premium students were first to receive the
graduation certificate and title. In Slovakia premium students receive premium red
diplomas and everybody else receives blue diplomas.
You can check your marks and you will know in what category you will end. Because my sister is chaotic and she never bothered about her marks or with reading small print at documents, she told us she will have the blue one.
We were chatting quietly and watched the premium students. I was taking photos of some of
her pretty schoolmates as I was in charge of recording this precious moment for
eternity. Then our parents could show the photos to others. I believe we still have
those photos in my parent’s living room. Then my sister's name was called out and as
she was not expecting it, she did not notice at first.
There was a delay as everybody in the Black Eagle theatre was waiting for her to take the diploma from the college officials. Luckily she was notified by someone and she went to take the diploma.
I was also surprised and I almost forgot to take her picture. Although my sister was an
excellent student, her self-esteem was low. She struggles financially today because
she loves social work and social workers are not paid much. In my eyes she is
completely successful except for the money. In her eyes, she is not successful.
Lesson learned: Academic education does not increase your self esteem or
finances, but the right academic education increase your social capital – the right
contacts in the right places.